Have you ever been perusing Facebook wondering how certain friends are having such a great life? Only to find out that after visiting with them in person (or through friends) that life is not so great as it appears on Facebook. That was a recent experience for me.
I am not the vindictive or cruel type of person. Nor do I wish a particular person a miserable life. Although, I find with Facebook that the possibility of jealousy and resentment is all too possible through viewing the lives of others on the social media platform. I call this the curse of Facebook.
Don’t Spend Too Much Time On Facebook
Type into the search engine on the website ‘Psychology Today’: “Social Media” and the responses below will range from the dangers of late night engagement with social media to what content to put online. The research has been exploding on a variety of academic areas of investigation regarding the effects of social media on the average person. The most common finding is that there are dangers associated with spending too much time on social media — mostly with self-esteem, confidence, and depression. Why?
Just spend a little time viewing the lives of your friends on social media, and you may be led to believe that your life is not as fulfilling as others or exciting for that matter, which is extremely dangerous. I had a recent visit with a friend that revealed that I was too involved in believing the life of a high school friend was much better than mine. Yes, I fell into the trap also.
Does Your Facebook Profile Resemble Real Life?
Recently, I had a visit with old friends. I was invited to see a few old friends from high school, whom I have not seen in quite a while — years to be exact. Although, I am on Facebook and keep up with each of them, in person, the story is always slightly (or more) different. The present case proved this to be right once again.
I went and visited with friends at a house which had just been purchased by one of my friends younger brother. The occasion was a house welcoming party. Well, during our visit, we stood around the garage telling stories about old times — parties, girls, and concerts which all of us attended. Then the conversation moved onto the current status of each of our friends. How could it not? This was a reunion of sorts.
Well, after a while, I asked about a specific friend in question. I will not go into too much detail. But I will admit that I was curious as to what line of work this friend (I will call him — Joe) was doing. He was married and lived at the beach. Although, I knew him in high school to be a questionable person at the time. Now he is married to a beautiful lady and has two children.
Did I want Joe (and his family) to fail to make myself feel better about myself and my life? No, but the curse of Facebook was talking, and my mind was telling me that I must prove that life was not as good as his profile on Facebook led me to believe. What is wrong with me? I call this feeling — the curse of Facebook.
Anyways, during our visit, I managed to slip the person’s name into the conversation. At that point, the conversation split into two different discussions. One with myself and one friend. While the other was the rest of my friends continuing to check friends off of the list.
My conversation revealed that Joe’s lifestyle is made possible by credit. Further that Joe and his friends were running a ‘Ponzi scheme’ on wealthy residents of the beach. He was taking money from wealthy residents who had wealth by proposing fraudulent investment schemes. Wow — I did not see that one coming.
Upon finding this out, I was disappointed than feeling great about myself. The curse of Facebook can cut both ways. While knowing the truth should have been reaffirming to my initial suspicion. Instead, I felt worse. My overall feeling was of sadness for Joe and his family.
I am an optimist. Further, I wish people the best life possible. How did I fall into the trap of Facebook? I now believe that the time spent on Facebook (not to mention my state of mind at the time) is directly proportional to my feelings about my life and the life of others, which can be dangerous. Lesson learned: Be careful how long and what information I take away from social media. The grass appears to be greener on the other side.
I started to realize that Facebook and other social media platforms can be potentially dangerous. The ‘curse of Facebook had struck again. I say again since I had been cutting back on my engagement over the last couple of years.
What About My Profile?
My Facebook profile says little about me. Although, I have tried to be transparent to the extent that I can. My wife is the type of person to snap pictures at any moment in time — then immediately post. Which means I typically get a few comments such as: “Wow beautiful picture — not,” or “Could you not have posed differently?”
She believes that all photos are equal. I have had requests to take pictures down because of the candidness of the photo. One family member asked not to show a particular image because of the way the shot made him look (I guess to large). We have videos of old drinking parties where you get an upfront look at Mike before sobriety.
Still, I believe that the profile does not do my life justice that is for sure. Not everyone is interested in each activity that each of our friends is doing at any given moment. Which again begs the question: Does your Facebook profile resemble your real life?
I am going to stop at the conclusion that the possibility does not exist to have a real resemblance of our lives on Facebook. The reasons for these differences will remain a mystery for now. What I am sure about is that the curse of Facebook is definitely part of the problem.
This article originally appeared on 'A Scientist Made Simple'
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